Pot’s on… KAWFEEE!!
A place for dialogue . Therefore, no ad hominines, or former members of the high school debating team. As for generalities we all indulge occasionally, which is ok so long as we deal in individualities.
“It is differences of opinion that make horse races.” - Mark Twain
Responses
Paul Phillips
November 29th
The place looks really good, j. Nice easy navigation, good fonts. Love it!!!
jguevara
December 1st
took all kinda pills had all kinda thrills but the thrill you’ll never know, is da thrill that’ll getcha when you get your novel listed on Am-o-zon.
Am-o-zoooon… gonna buy 5 copies for my mudder ….
Cheers y’all I’s celebratin’. Life… is good.
j guevara
December 3rd
With holiday season now in full swing it is time someone, for once, gives it a truer perspective. Thus, at the rick of tar and feather, I submit:
Ho Ho Humbug
I hate holiday season, all the trimmings, and the greedy consumerism that goes along with it. I’d rather see a tree growing in the forest than dying a decorated death indoors.
Most northern cultures start holiday season with a harvest festival. In the States it’s called Thanks Giving. This day celebrates the Pilgrims’ first feast, which they shared with the natives who taught them what to hunt, fish, and grow. If not for this pagan benevolence these castaway, witch burnin’, psalm singers wouldn’t have made it to New Year. However, why theses holy rollers didn’t invite the heathens to the 2nd Thanks Giving is not mentioned in school. And for good reason.
Although Thanks Giving is marked by the gorging of gastronomical delight, barely does your intestinal tract have time to recover before Christmas, another gulping, gut gorge, is upon us. For the weight watchers with a seasonal guilt complex, allow me to relieve your neurosis: go ahead and stuff yourselves; it’s not what you eat between Thanks Giving and Christmas, but what you eat between Christmas and Thanks Giving that counts.
From earliest caveman the winter solstice we call Christmas has marked the heralding of anew, rejuvenation, birth, life reborn. So, if Jesus needs a day of birth you couldn’t have picked a better one. However, let’s not give plagiarism more than it’s due.
Some claim it’s good to have a season that reminds us to treat each other with Peace, Love, and Understanding. I claim it is no relief and is in fact the problem. Not able to spread such saintly air evenly over twelve months, we use it up in a matter of days. Instead of cramming this highhanded goodness into a few cold days in December, try stretching out Be Cool, Get Along, and Give Everyone Some Space over an entire year. Then we’d have cause to carol ‘Joy To The World’, ‘Peace On Earth, Good Will Toward Women’, ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’.
Though religious revelry is wasted, it is nothing compared to the subliminal sham traditional Christmas music and stories have made of this most sacred pagan fest. Should any of us commit half the crimes that some overweight bozo in a red suit does, we’d be looking at 7-to-10 in a federal pen.
Starting with disturbing the peace just as mom in her kerchief and I in my cap settle down to a long winter’s nap, this inebriated idiot who should be picked up for DUI along with his team of equally high-flying ten-point buck, lands on the roof, which is really not strong enough to support the weight of a bunch of goofy reindeer pulling a sleigh. And you can tell by their names – Happy, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Doc, Sleepy – that they’re maxed out of their minds on drugs.
As if disturbing the peace, driving under the influence, and parking in a no-sleigh zone are not enough, this arrogant scoundrel compounds his crimes with Breaking and Entering. He comes down the chimney with a bang, gets soot all over the living room, helps himself to cookies and milk, leaves the refrigerator door open, fills his belly with a bowl full of jelly, and then lights his pipe, not even concerned that he’s in a smoke-free home. Just as the owner is coming downstairs to catch this criminal, in typical uncouth defiance he sticks his finger up his nose and up the chimney he rose. Then his accomplices, those hot rod reindeer waiting with the get-away vehicle, dash away, dash away, dash away all.
This is what parents read to their children the night before Christmas? This is the character you wish to portray as a role model?
Christmas music fares no better. Listen to the sad but endearing song of the most famous reindeer of all. Yes, Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer. Born with Nosetelia Rosaluminous, a rare genetic affliction, this proud and noble fleet-footed creature of the forest carried himself with dignity as he burdened the laughing and name calling from all of the other reindeer, who never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. What message is this sending to our youth? Although Santa and Ms. Clause could see what was happening out the window of their North Pole estate, still, they did nothing to stop it.
But, this story stoops worse. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?” I know exactly what I would have said: “No buck skin way, fat man! If you and your glee shouting reindeer think I’ll bail you out, you got another think coming.”
But you gotta hand it to Rudolph. You’re a better reindeer than I am, Gunga Din. With no malice or forethought, Rudolph hitched himself to that sleigh and at the risk of his life got the team through the gale of that blinding, dangerous fog, and back home safe and sound on that momentous night. And children everywhere learned that although you make fun of the differently-abled, …they’ll gladly help you out in a pinch so don’t worry ‘bout it. The terrible end of this tale, however, is that to this day, they still never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
Though the lessons of Rudolph lack social grace, they’re not life threatening. What is life threatening are the actions of another malcontent role model, Frosty ‘the anarchist’ Snowman. No matter how much we instill in our children to look both ways before crossing the street, obey traffic signals, and respect police officers, this unflavored Popsicle can undo in three minutes what took years to get through your child’s thick skull. While little kiddies chase him, Frosty, with no regard for rules of pedestrian safety runs through the village bopping everyone with a broomstick in his hand. Running here and there all around the square, taunting impressionable little children to catch him if they can. He runs all through the streets of town right past the traffic cop where he only pauses a moment when the officer hollers, “STOP!” It’s deplorable.
Though not as deplorable as other lessons developing minds are exposed to through what we proudly hail as traditional Christmas music. Beyond their maturity, children are confronted with the influence of homosexual lyrics such as, ‘Don we now our gay apparel’. Then are musically asked to, ‘Deck the balls with halls of holly’. Each can handle this in their own way, but for me, ‘Mess with me or mine, fella, and you’ll be singin’ fa-la-la-la-la on the moon’.
Songs of infidelity are also no help where a son accidentally witnesses his mother in an adulterous act. Fortunately, I never saw my mommy kissing Santa Clause. Why I’d a goosed him with his own reindeer’s antlers right back up that chimney so fast.
There is a ray of hope in this madness. One voice spoke out against the waste and hypocrisy that has turned this joyous occasion into a nightmare. One man had the courage to stand and challenge the awesome power of the multinational toy and game manufacturing conglomerate, only to be demonized, mocked, and cursed throughout all civilized land. Scrooge! Yes, Ebenezer Scrooge! The only one who warned us that when you have mouths to feed, a roof to provide, and clothes to buy, especially with the added burden of Tiny Tim, a handicapped child, you should not be wasting precious time and hard-earned money on wanton frivolity.
To demonstrate, Scrooge bought Tiny Tim a ukulele. We all know what became of that. Tiny Tim grew up to record ‘Tip Toe Through The Tulips’ in his nauseating falsetto voice that irritated everyone except Johnny Carson.
But if Thanksgiving doesn’t give you the gout, and Christmas doesn’t break you financially, you can finish the gauntlet on New Year’s Eve where you get plastered, then splattered all over the highway. So if you want to make sure some good comes of all this, don’t forget to fill out your organ donor’s card.
Lest no one think ol’ j. a bah humbug, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night…
Be cool
Get along
Give everyone some space
Orange County Party Limousine Blog
December 16th
Awesome post. Christmas is almost here and I still need to do my shopping. I still need to buy my sister the lord of the rings book series. Amazon has some insane deals.
Orange County Party Limo
December 16th
Very insightful post. Makes me move to Europe and learn as many languages as I can. How different the world we be if people would travel more and learn to celebrate our differences instead of hiding from them.
Orange County Party Limo
December 16th
This is favorite sites. Excellent job moderating. And insightful articles. Rarely does a blog causes me to bring it up in coversation. I hope everyone enjoys the holidays.
Jude Doom
December 20th
Hey, that’s some great information you got there. I love Glee! I watch it online at http://www.watch-glee.net. I’ll be sure to check out this blog more often!
Ken Kozyra
December 31st
Happy New Years!! To my favorite blog, hopefully no tactical body armor is needed with all those idiots blasting their pistols above residential housing.
j guevara
January 1st
It rained last night, their powder got wet, so this year was a bit safer. Gun shot and fireworks injuries were down 15%. And this is called safety improvement? lol
We watched Times Square on CNN for lunch. Hope you had a safe and fun celebration.
cheers to another great decade ahead.
Ed Creager
January 10th
Just thought I would stop in. Thanks for the friend request on FB, “j”.
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January 24th
The author of jguevaranovels.com has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: One of the funniest things you can do is pack yourself into a suitcase. You will hardly be able to contain yourself. Thanks for the info.
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February 12th
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March 12th
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April 29th
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